The 'I Can't Even' Tarot Spread

The 'I Can't Even' Tarot Spread

I’m trying something different today and doing a kind of silly tarot card spread. The more relatable you can make your spreads (AKA thanks but no thanks Celtic Cross), the more likely you are to get deep wisdom from them. Rather than struggling to find the meaning in each card’s position, you’ll naturally understand the flow and even the story of the cards.

This reading is called my “I can’t even” spread. Sometimes, I can’t even. What is that about? I put in so much work and yield so few results. I try my hardest, but I’m falling short. I don’t think I can do anymore. I’m done.

I can’t even.

There’s no more energy or motivation. That went out the window as soon as challenges and struggles came my way. But I’m smarter than that. And even though it feels like I can’t even—I’m going to take a beat and find out why.

Here’s What The Reading Looks Like:

I Can’t Even Tarot Spread

  1. What can’t I even?

  2. Why can’t I even?

  3. Where can’t I even?

  4. How CAN I even?

tarot card

For this reading, I used The Wild Unknown Tarot Deck. When I first got it, I wasn’t sure if it was right for me, but I kept using it and I learned more about it and now I can’t imagine using another deck for a full, deep reading. It’s so simple and magical. With this deck, the cards flow in my hands as I shuffle like water. We are so attuned to each other and I’m so committed to this deck.

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The Hanged Man Tarot Card

What can’t I even?

This card shows what I’m struggling with most. What’s the thing that I can’t even deal with right now?

When I think of the hanged man card, I think of somebody who is stuck between two worlds. Who is torn about a choice they have to make, and who has a different perspective than everyone around them. In The Wild Unknown Tarot Guidebook, this is a card of sacrifice and letting go since the hanged man is the master of non-attachment.

The hanged man is not exactly a pleasant card to face. It usually comes up when we’re at a crossroads. For me, in this reading, I see it as an invitation to soften. I see it as an invitation to let go. I see it as a gateway to a new way of being and a new way of viewing myself.

There is nothing noble about struggling and suffering. Sometimes, we just need to let the universe have our back. Sometimes we just need to rely on other people for a change!

We need to trust the emotions that we’re feeling instead of struggling against them resisting. Once you can recognize the emotions you’re feeling and accept them without judgement then you’re on your way to changing how you feel, typically changing from “Bad” feelings to “good” feelings

Because, here’s the thing, you can approach life from a state of fear or a state of love. You’re in the same situation either way.

If you’re late for work and you just see the bus pulling away as you get to your bus stop, then you might be angry and you might feel anxious about getting to work on time. You’re feeling anxious about when the next bus is coming and if there will there be enough room on the bus and if you’ll have time to grab a latte before your first meeting of the day…

All of that worry doesn’t help you. It doesn’t make the bus come faster. The bus is coming when it’s coming. You don’t have control over when it comes. What you do have control over is how you feel.

Will you choose to be anxious and upset? Or, will you choose to accept the anxiety and fear, recognize it and then politely say “I’m good, thanks”. Have a light-hearted approach to your situation. Once you step out of that fear-based mindset, you’ll have SO MUCH MORE ENERGY in your day to do what you need to do. You won’t feel drained In this position because you’re not wasting your precious time on feeding fear and anxiety.

So, why can’t I even? I’m struggling with finding stillness. I’m struggling with finding my place in a chaotic world. I’m struggling with letting go of what no longer serves me like getting super pissed at the bus schedule and I’m going to try and be more light hearted about it. Maybe I’ll even bike to work instead cause I don’t need all this mess in my life. I have too many amazing things in my life that I rather devote my time and energy to.

Tarot card

The Son of Cups Tarot Card

Why can’t I even?

Now that I have a sense of what I can’t even, I am going to dive into why I can’t even.

I got the son of come to me OK so the cups are the suit of emotion and the sun is the card that brings the power of the suit into the world oh he’s not totally mature yet he’s a son is not a father so he still has a little bit more to learn and grow in his own way so this card since it’s like a fit a court card it could represent me or could represent I’m in aspect of me or I could also represent other people in my life so this aspect this card is ready to go out in the world even if they don’t have all the answers yet even if they are totally emotionally mature there they have done

They’ve done work and they’re ready to go out on their own and see how far they can go with what they have, and what they have is an unknowably deep emotional world.

The son of cups is grounded, full of creativity, and has a healthy balance of masculine and feminine energy.

So, why can’t I even? I’m struggling with my creativity and how I bring it to the world. Other people see me as mysterious, even sphinx like and they want to know what I’m going to do next. I can’t even because the balance between masculine and feminine energy is hard to find. I can’t even because I don’t know how to be a light-hearted creative artist while still paying my bills. I’m playing too small.

tarot card

The World Tarot Card

Where can’t I even?

What aspect of my life can’t I even? Since I pulled The World card, it might mean like everything and my whole world view or outlook on life.

It might also mean that I’m struggling with endings and struggling with knowing when to move on and start a new cycle. It might mean that I can’t even find closure in parts of my life and I’m leaving doors open behind me because I’m not sure if I’m going to stay in that room or not. Totality, completion, happiness… I can’t even!’

I’ve been pushing it, working it and hustling with only two speeds—fast and faster!

I need to learn to contemplate what it means to feel wholeness and contentment. I need to be in the present more. So, where can’t I even? Like, basically in my whole life!

tarot card

The Three of Pentacles Tarot Card

How CAN I even?

So, how can I start to even? How can I move on, even when it feels like I can’t. The three of pentacles is a card of coming together.

The pentacles are a suit of your skills, career and your money. To find success in these arenas,  grab your friends. Grab your coach, your teacher, your parents and ask them for advice. You don’t even need to ask them for advice! You could invite them to collaborate in some meaningful way. When cheerleaders build a human pyramid, they reach higher standing on each other’s shoulders than any one of them could ever reach alone.

When everyone works together, they all bring their unique skills to the table. Assemble your own dream team like Harry, Hermione and Ron (Harry Potter) or Huey, Dewy and Louie (Ducktales) or the PowerPuff Girls or Snap, Crackle and Pop!

There’s power in a collective.

You can see the three pentacles stand at the base of a massive mountain. There’s  no way that on their own they could ever hope to reach the summit or to overcome the obstacle. Maybe on the other side of that mountain is a verdant Green Valley filled with everything they desire!

To go further sometimes we actually need to slow down and connect with other people. To go higher, we need to humble ourselves and join arms with those around us. This card is totally inviting me to rely on my sisters and to rely on those people in my life who have been there since day one and wish me all the success and happiness.

I can stop isolating myself. I can stop thinking that I am the only one hanging upside down and seeing things totally differently. I can stop thinking that I’m the only one who feels deep emotions. I can stop being so mysterious to others and open up. I can start to except the idea that I’m good where I am and that life is all about cycles and change but there’s always moments where you can relax look at what you’ve achieved and learn. Getting strength from those moments helps you work with others to achieve even more.

With that, I can start to even!

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